A Walk in the Woods

This Valentines Day, the Hallmark-endorsed "Day of Love", I thought I'd take the time to write to the four people that make me who I am.


Collin.He was born into this world determined to suck the life out of me. From the moment he was born, hot and infected with bacteria that could very well have killed him. Those 10 long days, holding his tiny hand inside the walls of a NICU.

He still brings me more breathless moments than any of the other kids. Today, though, it's with his intelligence, his wit, his heart. He admittedly "knows everything". Just the other day on an ordinary trip to Target he said to me "Mommy, when I grow up, you or Daddy or anybody else won't have to teach me to drive, because driving looks pretty easy. You just turn the wheel whatever way the road is going, and that's how you drive." Glad he absolved us of that responsibility.

Collin astounds me daily with his compassion for others, and a heart for wanting everyone to feel as good as he does, or better. He always wants everyone to have friends and be included. He rarely finds a fault with anyone that cannot be overlooked. He really does have a heart of gold. Just recently, the stomach bug and ensuing dehydration that ravaged each of our children, and landed the littlest in the hospital, proved to show my a little more evidence of his compassion. Despite his own fever, vomitting and diarrhea, his biggest concern was "Is Liam going to be OK?" He gives me light and laughter, even on the darkest of days. I hope his four-year-old heart stays with him forever.



Mia. Easygoing from the time she was in the womb. The easiest birth of the three of them. She's always been the one that goes with the flow, does what we ask and rarely protests. As an infant, we could take her anywhere, and she would adapt. At 2 weeks old, she slept for hours on a towel on a beach chair. In fact, even as a toddler in the throes of the terrible twos, she's mild. She sometimes wants her own way, but is content to conform to ours. She loves babies, and her brothers are her world.

She is a Daddy's girl to the core, and whether he knows it or not, she's got him wrapped around her little finger, and then some. She's the best sleeper, the best eater, the most content in the car, and overall the happiest little girl I've ever met. She's given us a run for our money.

Only a few days old when we discovered the hole in her heart, it caused an ache in our hearts for months. Then the torticollis, and the eye surgery. It was always something with Mia, but she pummeled through like a champ. Inquisitive, silly, brave and nurturing. I hope she stays that way forever. However, I want her to grow up and learn to shed her conformity, discover herself, and stand her ground, always. I will will work tirelessly to teach her these things. After all, 'well behaved women rarely make history'. My daughter makes me a better person, and for that, she will forever have my heart.


Liam. He came into our lives as a shock, a surprise, and as I regretably recall, a burden. It still pains me to think of my reaction and gut feelings the days and weeks that followed reading the word "Pregnant" on the HPT. I will live with the guilt of my uncertainty for the rest of my life.

I could never have imagined then, what Liam would bring to our family. He's only been with us for 2 months, but it feels like an eternity. He continues to be a surprise. We waited for a surprise at birth, to find he was a boy, and by far the biggest of all three kids. He remained nameless for hours. Within days we realized he was not afraid to make his needs and wants known, very loudly. He brought out a love we'd never seen in our oldest children.

His size and sheer strength continue to astound us. He seems to grow exponentially and get stronger by the minute. He rolled over for the first time when he was only a few days old, and I can't remember a time when he didn't hold his head up. Despite his vocal insistence on having things his way, he brings me immesurable joy. He reminds me that I CAN take on even those feats I never thought possible (like parenting 3 kids under 4!). I imagine that he will spend his life surprising us all, and I'm grateful for that, because Liam will keep me young well into retirement.


And last, but certainly not least. James. James and I have seen each other through the best, and the worst. We've had our ups and downs and ins and outs. Despite the challenges, and the circumstances, our love for one another has brought us through 10 years and three kids. He has his issues, as do I, but at the end of the day, he's my soulmate.

He's a wonderful husband, thoughtful and always willing to pitch in and do his part, and then some. Above all, he's an amazing father. I could not ask for a more wonderful partner to parent my children with. He's firm when he has to be, as rough as they need him to be, creative, imaginative, loving and fun. Always hands-on, he's the dad who's not afraid to get on the swings or bouncy slide just to make his kids happy. And he never bats an eye at losing sleep to spend more time with them. He is SuperDad.

I love to watch him interact with the kids from a distance. To read to them, bathe them, feed them. Most people never see this side of him, and that's ok. Outside this house, he is who he has to be, but within these four walls, he is still the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I will.